My Neighbor’s Temperature

Our neighbors moved in 5 years ago and I knew then that I wanted to do “something” with the wife. That “something,” of course, ranged from trying to catch a glimpse of her disrobing through the window, to getting to fuck her, to maybe even playing doctor games (yeah, right! – Dream on buddy). Anyhow, at every opportunity I looked out my window which is at exactly the same level as the window to their bedroom and bathroom. Forget the bedroom; they’ve got some piece of furniture moved in the way of the window. Occasionally, however, the bathroom blind is open somewhat and I have been fortunate enough to get a glimpse of her moving around in there, but I’ve had to use my imagination to fill in the details.

Just yesterday, however, I had just walked in the door when my neighbor, Vickie, called on the telephone and asked me to come over to pick up a package that had been left there by UPS since I’m not home during the day. I jumped at the opportunity since I knew her husband wasn’t home (what an asshole he is) and I like to stand and talk to her and eye her up while thinking about all the nasty little things I could do. When I arrived, she answered the door and we started talking. After a few minutes, she invited me inside and our conversation continued. Our conversation turned to how cold it had recently gotten and the kind of winter that we might expect. She said that she hated winter because that’s when the kids always got sick. I just commented that it must be rough having to take care of sick kids and she said, “Yeah, and they hate it when you have to take their temperature.” I knew exactly what she meant, but now our conversation had entered my territory, so I asked “why”.

“You know, the kids have their temperature taken in their butt,” she said. “And, they hate it. I don’t know if it’s because they don’t like showing their bottoms or just the weird feeling of the thermometer going inside, or what it is,” she continued.

Here was my entree. “Hmmmmmm. I wouldn’t even know where to start to take a temperature that way, but I guess I’d better learn,” I said.

“Oh, it’s not hard. I can show you,” she said.

“Sure, I’ll give you a call when I need to know how,” I said jokingly, not wanting to appear anxious in any way.

“No. No. I’ll show you right now. That way you’ll be ready when you need to know how. Come upstairs. It’ll only take a minute…well, about 4 minutes,” she said as she headed up the stairs and I followed. We ended up in the bedroom and she told me to sit on the bed while she got things ready. So, I sat down on the bed and she went into the bathroom. When she came out, I noticed that she had a thermometer in one hand and a jar of Vaseline in the other. She sat them on the bed next to me and then, standing right in front of me, pulled off her sweatpants, leaving her in just her sweatshirt, white bikini panties and white socks.

“Most kids lie over their parent’s lap,” she said as she laid across my lap. “You’ll want to be in control of the situation and this is the best position until they get too big,” she continued. WOW! Here she is with her panty-clad bottom staring right up at me.

“Open the jar of Vaseline and get the thermometer out of the case before you lower my panties,” she instructed. I did as I was told, unscrewing the top from the jar of the Vaseline, and removing the thermometer from its case and laying it next to the jar of Vaseline on the bed. “Okay, here’s where it gets a bit tough – take down my panties to just below my knees. You’ll want them to come down enough so you can get their legs spread, but not off all the way so they feel totally naked.” Vickie raised her hips a little as I steadily lowered her panties below her asscheeks to just below her knees.

“Put your hand between their legs and push them apart,” she instructed as she reached back and placed my hand between her thighs. “Now, you’ll have to figure out what you’re getting into but I always try to lubricate their anus before I put the thermometer in. Put some Vaseline on your index finger and then rub it around my anus,” I heard her say. I was too overcome with the sight before me. I could even see between her legs to her pussy which she must have kept trimmed. I knew what I was getting into!

I dipped my finger into the Vaseline and Vickie said, “Use your other hand to separate their buttocks and expose their anus to your view.” I did just that, spreading her asscheeks until I could see the hairless pucker of her asshole. “Now, put your finger on their anus and spread the Vaseline around…if you can, try to insert some Vaseline into their rectum by pushing a little with your finger. Of course, since I’m an adult, my rectum will take your whole finger. Go ahead and slide it inside,” she said. WHAT!? If that’s what she said. I rubbed my finger around her asshole and then slid it inside, feeling her pucker and squeeze on my finger as it slid inside.

When my finger was all the way inside, Vickie said, “Now that you’ve gotten them lubricated, you’re ready to insert the thermometer. Stop rubbing their anus, and in my case remove your finger, and lubricate the thermometer to make doubly sure everything goes as smooth as possible. With plenty of lubrication, there will be no discomfort – It might even feel good.” I was enjoying the feeling of my finger in her asshole, and she would occasionally squeeze it. Looking down, I could see that her pussy lips were opening a bit, too, as her asshole contracted on my finger. I slowly removed my finger and then picked up the thermometer and stuck it into the Vaseline jar a few times.

“Separate their buttocks so you can place the tip of the thermometer against their anus. Then, with a steady pressure, you can insert the thermometer about 3/4 of it’s length. Stop if you meet any resistance.” Following her instructions, I again spread her asscheeks and put the thermometer against her asshole. It was so well lubricated that it slid right inside. She noticed too and said, “See, if you do a good job of lubricating, insertion of the thermometer is no problem. Now, let it register for 4 minutes…”

We waited for 4 minutes while I enjoyed the view of Vickie spread across my lap, panties lowered to below her knees, while her rectal temperature was being taken. “Sometimes it helps if you rub their buttocks and thighs a little…go ahead, its okay,” she suggested. What was I to do? I took one hand and rubbed her asscheeks, down her thigh, and back up again. “Why not use both hands and turn it into a little massage – its very comforting,” she said. SURE! NO PROBLEM. That’s just what I did. Four minutes passed quickly.

“You don’t want to take longer than is required, especially if you’ve had a good patient,” said Vickie at precisely the moment 4 minutes had elapsed. “Spread the buttocks to relieve the tension and remove the thermometer,” she said. Taking one final look, I spread her asscheeks and freed the thermometer. “Use a Kleenex next to the bed to wipe the Vaseline from it and take the reading,” were my instructions. After wiping it off, I looked at the thermometer and said, “Well, a bit of a fever…99.6” (I was hoping to go down the road of an enema to reduce the fever) but Vickie knew better than this.

“No, remember that the rectal temperature is always 1 degree higher than oral normal,” she reminded me. “Be sure to wipe between their buttocks,” she told me and with that she reached behind her and spread her asscheeks. I took some Kleenex and wiped away the Vaseline, spending a moment which seemed like an eternity “wiping” around her asshole. “That’s good – get it nice and dry so they don’t feel uncomfortable,” she said.

As I finished wiping her asshole she said, “You have been a success when you’ve gotten this far without any whimpering…pull up their panties and see to it that they are comfortable in bed.” As she said this, she rocked side to side on my thighs and kicked her feet. I reached for her panties and pulled them up.

Vickie got off my lap, adjusted her panties, and pulled on her sweatpants. “See, that wasn’t hard at all,” she said. No, THAT wasn’t hard, but I sure was. However, I stood up, hoping she wouldn’t notice the bulge in my pants. Maybe she did and maybe she didn’t. Either way, she led me back downstairs and I thanked her for the lesson. “No problem…” was her response as I walked out the door…..

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